●8.5 · $20.00 · Open
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Joey2d
Gilbert, Arizona●8.5
Let me give you all a lesson on this thing we call “American swagger.” American swagger is Jack Hughes taking Canada’s prized possession (Tate McRae) as his own and then shoving it right up every other Canadian’s asshole to take the Olympic gold. American swagger is Kyle Schwarber telling Jazz Chisholm, “You can call me daddy,” as Team USA overthrows the entire kingdom of Great Britain. However, the prime example of American swagger is making your way to Caldwell on a Saturday night. Lines already out the door, every picnic table filled with proud American families. It’s walking in and ordering El General Patton himself with a side of mac. That’s right—give me sausage, brisket, and pork all together because, goddammit, this is the greatest country in the world. You can’t ask for a better vibe on a Saturday night. Impeccable service, delicious food, and Team USA on the phone. Shohei is quivering in his boots after the night we had. Paul Skenes may just call in the F-18s himself.